So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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