i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
