First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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