Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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