I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
