It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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