I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
