dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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