NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
