How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
