I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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