I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize