Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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