I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Randomize
