i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
