Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
