NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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