She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
