I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
