Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
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You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
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Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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