I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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