This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Bring me that man meat
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
