You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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