I'm jealous of your bromance
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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