I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
