You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
