If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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