Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
this will be a night to untag.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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