I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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