I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
