if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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