This girl is more easily done than said...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
