How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I think my moral compass just broke
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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