So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
