hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
