if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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