Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
