I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
