he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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