You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
