Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
