He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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