i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
