butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
