I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
