I never want to see another naked old woman again.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize