Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
