we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
