I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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