is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
