dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
