I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
