I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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