shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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