What tipped you off? The sombrero?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
