you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
