belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
