And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
