I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
