totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
