I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
