i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.