i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who