i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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