i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
