I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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