fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
