That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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