I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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