I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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