god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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